Thursday, May 25, 2006

Corporate foibles

A new document has entered the workplace, with the unfortunate acronym ASS. It had to be changed, of course, because who wants to be told, "Where is that written down? IN MY ASS!" One suggested change generated the acronym "AUS", which means we'll all sound like we're from down under. "Where is that written down, mate? IN MY AUS!"

Making jokes like these must have burned over $1200 in contractor dollars during a meeting yesterday and in subsequent emails today, but it certainly generated a lot of goodwill and a few snort-laughs.

The humor of this may have been fueled by the fancy new coffee machines installed recently. I was reading a New Yorker article on taste--buds, not culture--and it opined that we drink coffee for the adrenal rush from consuming something bitter, where bitter = death. Personally, I know why I drink coffee--it makes me feel like I can write like the wind, and consultants get paid by the ream. 95% of all blogs must be fueled by coffee.

Sunday, May 21, 2006


I won a trophy! A real, honest-to-goodness trophy! Seriously, when is the last time *you* won a trophy? 4th grade science fair? Middle school swim team? I can't stop wandering around with it, and Conor now thinks I am the coolest. Although he did ask if everyoen got one, and I very indignantly told him that no, only I got one because I had done the same damn volunteer position for FIVE YEARS.

But I love my trophy.

After I came home with it, we had a snack.

Then we watched some TV.

Then we went to bed.

And it was another day--time to make ourselves beautiful!

Oh, trophy, I love you! Enjoy your perch of honor.

This is turning out to be a very picture-happy blog--but that's what you get when you have a camera phone.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Warm fuzzies and signs of my apocalypse

While getting a cup of coffee today, I added my usual excess of cream and sugar and as I raised the cup up to my lips, I caught someone staring at me. (Perhaps aghast at the amount of condiments added?) I felt a warm feeling in the pit of my stomach--I had missed my lips, and poured coffee down the front of my shirt. In my shoes, even. An excellent way to start the day.

And the day just got better. I was talking on my cell phone as I came back from picking up lunch, and when I got into my cube I started putting my things away as I continued my conversation. I nearly freaked out when I could not find my cell phone--yes, the very one I was talking on--in my bag. I did manage, however, to figure out where it was right before I panicked and shouted into the very same cell phone, "I can't find my cell phone!" Now that would have been a fun conversation.

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