Friday, September 15, 2006

Your Mother is a Washcloth

You come upon a scene which makes you recoil in horror--your spouse, that wonderful loving parent--is teaching your child to wash. And there is, or is not, a washcloth involved. Either you believe using a washcloth is the only way to get really, truly clean, or you believe that they are fetid breeding grounds for germs that will be spread over your entire body. (I will not reveal which side I fall on.)

What do you do? Do you rush in there, and rip the washcloth out of/insert the washcloth into the hand of your child and set things 'right'? Do you wait until the next bathtime and belittle the 'wrong' way while your spouse is out of earshot? And what do you do at the next bathtime when your little angel asks for or refuses the washcloth? Can you seriously tell your little one that your spouse is really insane, but humor him, and know the proper way to wash is *not* his way?

You can't. You can only rail against the insanity of marrying AND procreating with someone who does such crazy things.

I read a recent blog post (and if I was a good blogger, I'd have remembered which one it was, and linked to it here!) where the parent realized, due to a prominent pen mark, that their son was showering without washing his face. When she asked why he hadn't washed his face, the son was aghast that anyone would put soap on their face! It would sting! It could blind you! And that made me realize that there is hope. That perhaps our child will learn nothing about hygeine, because that is better than getting it WRONG!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

It's all about compromise

Conor has started at his new school, a public school. He's reciting the Pledge of Allegiance and learning all the rest of the brainwashing things we went through as kids. Now, I'm not a fan of the current Pledge of Allegiance--the 1954 addition of "under God" was a knee-jerk reaction to the threat of those Godless Communists. I remember only mouthing those words when I was in elementary school myself--and don't get me started on the daily singing of "God Bless America" that that same school forced our participation in.

To be fair, I'm also not a fan of the original 1892 version, either, which just pledged allegiance "to the flag". It took two more changes to make it the flag "of the United States of America". (There's lots more here on the history of the pledge.) Why the changes? To ensure that immigrants knew to which flag they were pledging--wouldn't want them to accidentially pledge to their original one!

So I find myself saying the pledge again, as I stand outside with Conor during his school's morning announcements. Now I don't even pretend to mouth "under God", and yes, I've had a separation of church and state conversation with Conor. And of course he didn't get it, and I couldn't figure out why until he asked where they said 'god' in the pledge. So I had him say it for me, and he says "under guard". YES! We are under guard in this era of sacrificing privacy for security! So now he and I stand there and say the pledge, complete with "under guard". How very San Francisco!

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