Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Too Funny

We were having one of those idle chit-chats in cube-land about a colleague's upcoming camping trip, and we began reminiscing about the troubles associated with roughing it and getting clean. Mention of pay showers requiring quarters led one person to ask, probably rhetorically, where you were to keep your quarters while showering to ensure you weren't left lathered up when the water ran out. Where are you supposed to keep the quarters? I couldn't resist answering, "In your fanny pack!"

It broke everyone up--one guy was laughing so hard he had to walk away. Now, it's probably funnier given the quiet constraints of an office, but I was quite proud of myself. And when I picked up Conor from his after-school program and the director told me that Conor was quite the wit, I puffed up with pride and said, "I know where he gets it!"

From my fanny pack!

Still cracks me up.


Monday, March 10, 2008

Car Conversation

We're all in the car and the radio is tuned to my favorite station, 92.7 Energy. Dance music. Kevin is still wondering how I've snagged a button for this station, and asks what I like about this driving beat and repetitive lyrics. Uh, the repetitive driving beat? And repetitive lyrics? Don't cast the first stone, Mr. Bob-Seger-Lover.

It takes a mighty big iPod to hold our combined CD collections. There's not much overlap. We may be four years apart, but it's a light year in terms of musical taste. At a bar one very late night one very drunken night, he played even *more* Harry Chapin than the Harry-Chapin-loving bartender could stand. I couldn't even tell you who Harry Chapin is, except that hearing his music makes me want to vomit.


Sunday, March 09, 2008

Lesson Learned

Conor's school had a Math, Science, and Health night with hands-on educational activities. One was about how much sugar is in a soft drink--the kids measured out the 41 grams (or nine thousand teaspoons or whatever it is) of sugar, which was then placed in a ziptop bag THAT WAS GIVEN TO THEM. TO TAKE HOME. Needless to say, Conor was one of the kids caught off in a corner trying to eat the sugar.

What is wrong with these people? What did they *think* seven year olds would do with a bag of sugar? I don't care that he was off in the corner eating it, really, because I think it's funny. It's not like kids see sugar as deadly--it's too tasty!

I hope they're not doing similar programs at the high school level--see, kids, all it takes is this six pack to be too drunk to drive!


Monday, March 03, 2008


I started my new job, at a client where I'd worked before, with a group I'd worked with peripherally. Very nice people, reasonable hours and pay--who could ask for more? And the work seems interesting, which is a bonus. I went to my first staff meeting and got a fabulous introduction by the department head. She started by mentioning the great things I'd done before, how happy they were that I had come back, how I'd already made a contribution, that I'd invented sliced bread and shown them fire. And everyone clapped.

She looked around the room, very pleased to have brought onboard such a stellar player, and her eyes fell on the other new person in the room.

"We have another new face here today", she said, "His name is Dwight. Okay, does anyone have anything to add to the agenda?"

Welcome, Dwight. Don't let your inferiority complex get in the way of adequate performance.


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